All the Problems of the World…

As we observe the drama and problems of the world, and also our own drama and problems, we’ve come to the conclusion that most of people’s problems come down to…pretty simple solutions.

All the problems of the world can generally be solved by:

• have boundaries
• you can only control you
• don’t be afraid
• trust God and each other – but mostly, and first, God
• enjoy what you have in your life

So…yeah. These are pretty simple. They’re also insanely hard to do. But they seem to be helpful, so we’ll explain what we mean.

Boundaries

We’ve talked about this book before. You should read it if you haven’t.  TL;DR: you are responsible for you. You are responsible for your feelings, your emotions, your reactions, your physical self, and your choices. You are not responsible for other peoples, because they are responsible for them.

Wait. We’ll say it again:

You are not responsible for other people.

This applies even if they tell you that you are responsible for them, even if they say that their feelings/reactions/etc are your fault.

You Can Only Control You

This is an expansion of boundaries: stop hyperfocusing on what other people are doing, and look at what you can control (see above, re: boundaries…). Stop trying to control other people in order to feel safe, and stop allowing other people to control you because they want to feel safe.

Don’t Be Afraid

Fear and panic make you completely crazypants. It’s an incredibly hard cycle to get out of, because fear also makes us interpret things in the most scary possible way. There’s only one way we’ve figured out to get out of it aside from squishing your feels (don’t do this), and that is…

Fear makes you crazypants.

Trust God and Each Other – but Mostly, and First, God

And I will fear no evil,
for my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,
whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

You Never Let Go, Matt Redman

God has got this. He’s proven that to both of us, time and time again. His plans are better than ours, and any time we try to run our own plans, we end up kinda’ miserable.

And…if God has got this, and if he’s working for our good, and he’ll figure it out with us, and protect us, and guide us, then…why be afraid? What is there to be afraid of?

And if you’re lucky enough to have a couple of ride or dies who you can also trust, and who know they are fallible and that they can’t carry your soul, and who know that shoving you at God when you forget to trust him is the very best plan, you really don’t have anything to be afraid of.

Just…trust…and let go.

Use Cases

Trump vs not Trump

A lot of people freak out about supporting President Trump or not supporting him. Some say he has a holy right to rule (lolz), some others say he is a foreign agent bent on nuclear war and the destruction of our country and liberties (also lolz). Some just think he’s a dumpster fire and try to close their eyes and hope he doesn’t do too much damage while he’s in charge of…something?

Mostly, people use their opinions about him as an excuse to hate each other.

But…this is stupid. He’s just one guy. The economy is better, foreign relations are…well, different at least, and our country is still polarized. All that a person can do is live their lives, vote when it’s time, and… trust that God will handle it.

Control and Exile

We’ve written about, and will write more about, this topic – but the summary is, people think that if someone near them is doing behavior X, it will cause them pain. They think that if someone near them is misbehaving according to God, then they will feel pain from God as a result.

This is an old, old cultural scar. Homophobia, racism, legalism, basically all kinds of hatred are examples of this. It’s a lie that people believe and respond to: “I need to control you, or something bad will happen to me. I need you to be what I think God wants, or we won’t be safe.”

Obsession with One Fear for Safety

We occasionally run into people who think that they can white-knuckle their way to success: “if I am afraid enough about this one thing, and if I focus on it hard enough, my life will be safe.”

It’s a broken variation of trying to control what they can, and solve their worst pain – which is in general a really good idea. But rather than actually solve that pain, they turn their worst pain into an idol that defines who they are.

Fear does not guarantee safety. It is not control. Or said another way, fearing something enough won’t make it go away and obsession with one scary thing doesn’t resolve it.

Fear does not guarantee safety.

Examples of this include white supremacists, IT security professionals in broken organizations, and anyone else who appears to allow fear to dictate all of their choices.

Old Sayings

There’s an old saying: “if everything is important, then nothing is important.”

We’ve also heard, “beatings will continue until morale improves.”

The church edition goes like this: “we want you to be shiny God people, and we will legalize and control you and demand that you sacrifice badly until you start shining.”

People seem to universally think that the way to happiness, to peace, is to control other people. It’s not.

A Better Plan – Enjoy What You Have in Your Life

You, and your decision about what anchors your soul, is more important to your happiness that any other person or thing. So…you don’t have to be miserable. You don’t have to obsess about what anyone else is doing or saying or thinking. You can instead choose to just…enjoy your life.

You can instead choose to control only what you can control, enjoy the good things that happen to you, and walk with God.