Note: I first wrote this 2.5 years ago, which was about 6 months after I was first diagnosed. I wanted to update it with the things I’ve learned since. October is ADHD Awareness Month, and the original plan was to publish this then – but… SUPER META, I didn’t quite make it.

When I was 10, my brain kind of…imploded. I’d always been high-strung, but it suddenly got much much worse. It began as OCD-type impulses, and plagued me through my teens and 20’s as depression and anxiety at varying levels of noise in my head.

And then…at the age of 32, I found myself in a psychiatrist’s office, being handed an official diagnosis of ADHD – Inattentive Type. I had Googled enough before going that I agreed with the diagnosis, but I was still sort of…in shock. I was high-achieving all throughout school, never had any behavior issues, and was pretty sure that ADHD equaled the nutso spazzy kid in the corner of the class who was always distracting everyone. I began medication at that time and started to re-learn how to…well, how to brain. I started to understand why I do some of the things I do, and to make some kind of peace with the things that I just thought made me…weird. I go back and forth between wishing I could just be “normal” for a while and deeply appreciating that I’m not – because, the simple fact is, my ADHD makes me significantly better at most of the things I love (it’s a little chicken and egg…).

There’s one primary reason that ADHD makes me better – and that’s focus. …

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