{"id":3311,"date":"2021-01-13T17:05:53","date_gmt":"2021-01-13T22:05:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/?p=3311"},"modified":"2021-01-13T17:05:53","modified_gmt":"2021-01-13T22:05:53","slug":"aaand-were-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/2021\/01\/13\/aaand-were-back\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8230;.aaand we&#8217;re back!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a long time since we blogged. <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"emoji alignnone wp-image-2387 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/awkward.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"183\" height=\"183\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/awkward.png 183w, https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/awkward-150x150.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 183px) 100vw, 183px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ve missed it. A lot. But&#8230;like our blog says, life is simple, not easy, and we&#8217;ve found that sometimes soul repair takes a lot of resources.<\/p>\n<p>One thing we say in our talks is that transformational change starts with changes that individual people make in or for themselves. We think that&#8217;s probably always true, that large-scale change typically starts with individuals, and, <em>meta<\/em>, we&#8217;ve spent the time that we weren&#8217;t blogging working through a lot of stuff &#8211; stuff inside of our own souls and lives that needed to be processed, changed, and understood.<\/p>\n<p>One major example of that is that we both got divorced. We each had to work through a lot &#8211; like\u00a0<strong><em>a lot <\/em><\/strong>&#8211; of related feelings. Damage and scars, and&#8230;well, basically <em>all of the feels.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This is an accurate representation of what that process looked like:<\/p>\n<figure style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media1.giphy.com\/media\/k68QNmNboqOUo\/giphy_s.gif\" alt=\"I Just Have A Lot Of Feelings GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY\" width=\"500\" height=\"231\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/sR528E5_8yI?t=78\">Having a lot of feelings<\/a>, thanks Mean Girls!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>We both came to points in our marriages where they were too broken to proceed. Divorce is complicated, and figuring out life going forward is a lot of work.<\/p>\n<p>But we&#8217;ve done a lot of that work (probably not all of it, <em>wince<\/em>), and, as often happens, it&#8217;s turned out better than either of us thought possible. We expect that we&#8217;ll probably write more on the topic of divorce, but if you have any questions about the process or just want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out &#8211; our contact info is all over the place. I (Josh) didn&#8217;t even see it as an option for a long time, and only when Laine decided to do it did I even realize that I didn&#8217;t <em>have<\/em> to be stuck forever.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re both still processing a lot of what happened there, but it seems relevant given the other cultural things we&#8217;ve experienced. We wrote and delivered a new talk called Not a Cultural Fit, and we each drew on our marriages to see and explain and double-check as valid the patterns that we discuss in that talk. In the end&#8230;sometimes people just don&#8217;t <em>fit<\/em>, and trying to grimly power through only makes everyone miserable. You can find a new job, and you can find someone, or some organization, who actually <em>likes<\/em> you instead of tolerates you. <em>(oof)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Our plan for the blog is to get back in the swing of making content regularly, continuing with our opinions on stuff, and also things, and the observations that we have. Basically, we&#8217;re going to pivot again and always toward our favorite piece of advice, for everyone:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Be you, and have fun.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>If you&#8217;ve stuck it out, waiting for us to come back, we really\u00a0<em>really<\/em> appreciate it. If you&#8217;re new, hi! Either way&#8230;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_3337\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3337\" style=\"width: 216px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3337 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/boombaby.jpg\" alt=\"The Emperor's New Groove\" width=\"216\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/boombaby.jpg 216w, https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/boombaby-194x270.jpg 194w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 216px) 100vw, 216px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-3337\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Emperor%27s_New_Groove\">BOOM, baby<\/a>. We&#8217;re back.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a long time since we blogged. We&#8217;ve missed it. A lot. But&#8230;like our blog says, life is simple, not easy, and we&#8217;ve found that sometimes soul repair takes a lot of resources. One thing we say in our talks is that transformational change starts with changes that individual people make in or for &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/2021\/01\/13\/aaand-were-back\/\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[38,28,40],"tags":[205,79],"wf_post_folders":[],"coauthors":[11,26],"class_list":["post-3311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-god","category-organizations","category-people","tag-divorce","tag-simple-not-easy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3311"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3311\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3343,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3311\/revisions\/3343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3311"},{"taxonomy":"wf_post_folders","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/wf_post_folders?post=3311"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/soul-repairs.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=3311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}